I’ve read a lot about poltergeists and poltergeist type manifestation, and had plenty of low level knocks, bangs and thumps around the house for years, but nothing prepares you for your very own, straight-up poltergeist.
Friends agreed that it was scary and somehow bad form for the paranormal to behave like that, especially since I was studying so hard to focus various intuitive abilities into some sort of coherence – with the specific goal of working more effectively with the unseen world.
But that was also the crux of the matter. If you are studying to be a medium, shouldn’t you expect this type of communication? Much discussion had boiled it down to just that – the facts did not point to a nasty spirit having fun watching me shriek and sleep with the lights on. It was much more likely that someone was trying to communicate.
When I made that connection – that it was possibly a spirit in distress and not just a vagrant, it changed how I felt about it.
Mulling this over as I walked through the house, I glanced to the right and there, in the sliding glass doors, was the image a man. It happened so fast that I didn’t even stop walking, just did a double take. And then he was gone.
The man I saw was very young, and had black hair and a thick, bushy beard. He was
looking straight at me as if alarmed, and caught off guard. He had on a Union uniform and was crouching down. Wow, I thought when my head cleared. That’s him.
Fearful but now also sleep deprived, I felt sincerely embarrassed that I couldn’t calmly deal with a spirit, particularly if it was one seeking help.
So I steeled myself to go to bed without the reassuring company of lights, television and cats. That night I apologized aloud for the misunderstanding, but asked the spirit not repeat the performance. And I slept.
The next day, my husband returned home and I was no longer alone. The spirit didn’t come back, but the experience played on my mind and worried me.
I felt like I had flunked some sort of test with my fearful response. I sent earnest pleas to the powers that be that somebody, somewhere would succeed where I had failed and help this spirit, if help was needed.
There was one more knock in the night, about two weeks later. I did better this time; I did sit up, but this time I was calm when I asked the spirit to please hold off until daylight, and that was the end of it.
You’re not allowed to do this, I had cried out when it happened. I didn’t think before I yelled that; it was spontaneous. Did I mean that he was violating my longstanding personal boundary, that I’m off limits to physical manifestations once I turn in, or are there clearer rules of behavior in the unseen world that I am not consciously aware of?
I’d like to tell you that in the years since this happened, I found that soldier and talked with him, but I haven’t. I think of him often and wonder if he’s the presence I feel off to the side of the driveway, where I always feels someone stands and watches when I work in the yard.* He’s definitely not one of the Civil War era houseghosts I write about on my blog, because his energy is that of a stranger. When spring comes and I am outside a lot, I hope he might sidle up to me for a chat – if he’s not scared that I’m going to yell at him again.**